White knuckles and sweet peas.

I love peas. Yes, I remember the days when I had to be forced to the kitchen table and I could not go outside and play with my sister until every pea on my plate was eaten. Ten years later, I'm eager to have them to the point of craving the little buggers. A week and a half ago, I remember telling my roommate that peas sounded so good, but school hadn't served them in a while and I didn't have any cans of peas of my own (I probably could've drained a can and eaten the entire thing cold... that's how excited I was about peas... no joke). Over the course of the week, I had peas at a meal at least five times. It boggled my mind, and God showed me something other than that I must have been lacking vitamin K. Let's hold this thought...

As a senior in my third year of college, it's kind of crazy that I'm going to be walking across a stage in just a few short months and going headfirst into the real world with no idea as to where I'm going. The whole "no idea" part of that scenario terrifies a person who is addicted to controlling and planning. Wandering aimlessly in a smog does not sound very fun to me. So what all do I have to take into consideration? I'm graduating in December 2015, but I need an advanced field studies credit in order to officially be done which requires that I take a J-term class that will not be covered by financial aid. Where will that money come from? I have been blessed with a paid internship, but how will I commute? Great... now I have to start car shopping. Then there's the GRE (Graduate Record Examination) that I need to prepare for that determines if I'm even qualified for the graduate schools I've been looking at and attempting to contact professors at... and there's grad school...! Oh goodness, girl. STOP.

Looking at all of these shenanigans that I have to face, I can see plenty of reason for collapsing into tears because it feels a bit much....but what did I start this post with? God providing. God provided in my need (even though I didn't ask, He certainly knew the proclamations that were screaming from my heart...isn't God so awesome like that?? I'm so thankful that He knows us more than we know ourselves). Whether it's something small like a strange stomach craving or something significant like post-undergrad plans, God will provide! He always does. He always has and always will.

My devotion today made me laugh because of the "coincidence":
"THIS IS A TIME IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU MUST LEARN TO LET GO..."
Quite literally, that phrase was in all caps. If that's not a hint, I don't know what is. Continuing on, "You can feel secure, even in the midst of cataclysmic changes, through awareness of My continual Presence. ... As you release more and more things into My care, remember that I never let go of your hand. Herein lies your security...."

Wow... we are privileged to have a relationship with such a gracious God.

It is said that habit formation occurs after about 66 days of repetition. Well, I have been holding tightly to my life, trying to make it work and make sense of it in my own strength and understanding for 7501 days*^. This will be a hard process of letting go, but who said the Christian life was going to be easy? The struggle is all for the glory of God, and it's worth the time and effort!

God bless!

"For I hold you by your right hand--I, the LORD your God. And I say to you, 'Don't be afraid. I am here to help you.'" --Isaiah 41:13.

*Yes, I did the math.
^No, I did not count leap years.
STOP DOING THE MATH TO TRY AND FIGURE OUT MY BIRTHDAY! Haha!

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