I'm sick.

I'm sorry that I haven't been able to tell you all, and if you already know, repetition is good. Right? Anyway, this blog is dedicated to something that I haven't firmly addressed yet: Since I was born, I have been terminally ill. I didn't realize that I had the symptoms. It seemed like another average day in my life with all that happened until I saw a doctor and they told me what it was. The doctor said that they don't know how long I have to live, but my days are indeed numbered. I was astonished that I had been so oblivious to the signs. The doctor said that there was nothing they could do, but I could go to seek special therapy.

The Counselor is what he likes to be called. He's a one-of-a-kind guy. His name is so long, though, that I'm sure it's a bunch of random letter bunched together. Maybe it's more than one name, I don't know. It sounds as if there are numbers and symbols or something thrown in there, too. I'm sure that if he had a name plate on his desk next to his book that he published with some of his friends' help (it's very popular.. maybe you know about it), the name would fill a football field and then some! It must be something crazy like Hebrew. Greek, Arabic, I'm not sure. So I just call him the Counselor. He is a very interesting counselor. When I first visited him, he told me that the therapy sessions wouldn't take the illness away automatically but help with the symptoms that were present (now that I knew I had the terminal illness, the symptoms were more apparent). I guess it's better than nothing, right? What struck me is how obsessive he is with his patients. The Counselor is probably the most jealous counselor you will ever meet. When he creates connections with his patients, he never wants to let them go. He wants to be the ONLY counselor you ever see! If you have any other appointments, he wants you to lash them out as soon as you possibly can.

He also wants to schedule appointments frequently. It's like he's always there! Phone calls, house visits, walks with you to work, dinner, the whole nine yards. Anything you think of, the Counselor is there to make sure you aren't doing anything to further damage your health. He's so loving and he LOVES to listen to whatever you have to say. I've heard stories about the Counselor's current or past clients (the poor souls...) that didn't really like his constant presence in their lives. They would be angry with him, raising their voices at him, cursing at him. They thought they knew better than he did: that they could rid off the symptoms with other forms of therapy on their own. No matter how hard the Counselor tries to tell them that it won't work, they drift away from him anyways. Some of them come back, but others don't. Those are the ones that hurt the Counselor the most, but what's the strangest part is that he isn't surprised, no matter what they do. It's like he can read them. No, he's reading a script. I don't know how to explain it.

Since June 11, 2011, I have been visiting the Counselor, and I'm going to be honest: I've blown off his phone calls, walked out on him when he wanted to talk to me, not been whole-hearted when I sit in his office, completely missed appointments, and the symptoms attack me like they're waiting and watching me: stalking hopeless prey in the shadows. But when I'm with the Counselor, it's so great! It's better than any doctor in the state could provide for my condition. I'm so happy that I found him when I did!

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I'm a good creative non-fiction writer, eh? Yes, reality check, there is such a thing as creative non-fiction. One would probably never hear of it until now because I just made it up, but it makes sense, right? It's a creative true story! It's like one of those "based on a true story" movie moments.

Let me break it down for you:
  • I am terminally ill, but it isn't told to me by a doctor. It is told to me by the fact that I am a sinner and bound by that sin to die. It isn't just me either. It's all of us!
  • The symptoms of that sin? Discouragement, hopelessness, despair, guilt, etc.
  • I was oblivious to the signs of my sin when I was younger because I didn't know any better until the Counselor came into my life.
  • You guessed it! The Counselor is CHRIST. He does have constant presence no matter what, even if you try to push Him away, His arms are still open for when you choose to run to Him. He forgives us of our sins, no matter how bad we think they are.
  • Christ is certainly a jealous Counselor. He doesn't want you making "appointments" (going to Him, worshiping Him) with just anything. He WANTS that relationship with you... ALWAYS!
  • God certainly does help with the "symptoms" through his unconditional love, mercy, and grace. That's the trifecta right there. THAT is what will give you relief, but you need to trust in Him. Always, always, ALWAYS trust in Him. No matter what. He knows best.
See? :) I'm tricky, but let's get the message that I'm trying to make here (hopefully, I didn't make a fool of myself trying to write this out, but hey! I feel like God inspired it, so I had to at least give it a try!).

God bless!

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